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Breaking up is hard. Like really hard. I get it. One day you are blissfully in love, planning a future with the person you love, and the next day you are sitting there in shock, all alone and trying to figure out what just happened. Did you really break up? Are you all alone now? What are you supposed to do in this new world that you are living in? This is what I am talking about. It’s hard!
Then you have the added misery of somehow turning your ex into some perfect person who never did wrong while you are together. This is, of course, not true, but because of your sadness, you have yourself convinced of this. This puts reality into clear focus. You need time to heal. Do not jump into a new relationship in a hurry because you are lonely. Take the time to heal because the dangers of rebound relationships are real.
Be Wary Of Rebound Relationships
One of the big problems with breakups is the damage that is done to our egos. We are left thinking that there is something wrong with us.
We couldn’t make our last relationship work, so there must be a problem somewhere, right? Whether we transfer those insecurities to our looks or our personality, it doesn’t matter.
The fact is that breakups bring us down a notch and cause us to feel insecure with ourselves. That’s why it is so easy to jump into rebound relationships.
Trust me, though, a rebound relationship is not something that you want. Click here to learn more.
Reasons to avoid rebounds
It indeed can be dangerous
Honestly, with your insecurities being amped up after the breakup, it’s easy to be easily swayed by compliments and the lovestruck feelings of a new relationship. Those new relationships aren’t always healthy, though. When you aren’t feeling like yourself, it is easy for you to overlook things that would typically be a red flag for you.
There are many stories out there of rebound relationships that have turned into abusive relationships simply because it’s so easy to enjoy the newness and excitement after heartbreak.
It is delaying the mourning process
You have lost a relationship, and that requires a period of mourning. If you jump into a rebound relationship, you are merely delaying the process that you need to go through for proper healing. It’s unhealthy to push those feelings aside.
You could be missing out on “The One”
If you immediately jump into a relationship with someone because they are there; you might just be missing out on the opportunity to connect with “the one.” Loneliness is no reason to be with someone that you are not meant to be.
It’s hurtful to your rebound
If you jump into a relationship that isn’t going anywhere, you are not only hurting yourself, but you are hurting your rebound partner too. Maybe they aren’t in the same place as you, perhaps they are looking for the real thing, and your rebound relationship with you can be hurtful.
I’m willing to bet that you like this person that you are jumping into a rebound relationship with, and they obviously can see how awesome you are, you don’t want to ruin that image of yourself for them, do you?
It’s wasting your time
In the time after a breakup, you have so many amazing things that you can do to better yourself. You can go through the breakup grief process and heal. You can get to know yourself better. You can have more time to spend with family and friends. You can go out and meet new people and have new experiences. If you dive right into a new relationship, you can easily miss out on most of these things.
You should enjoy your time being single and use it to benefit yourself. Of course, you want to be in a relationship, but you want to be in the right relationship, not a dangerous one. I know that it’s hard to make these kinds of decisions right after a breakup, but for your own sake, I hope that you can. You deserve greatness in your future!
Krystle Cook – the creator of Home Jobs by MOM – put her psychology degree on a shelf and dived into a pile of diapers and dishes instead. She is a wife and mother to two rambunctious boys, sweating it out in her Texas hometown. She loves cooking, DIY home projects, and family fun activities.