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Parenting is often a big juggling act; you want your children to be independent and carve out lives for themselves, but you also want to be able to help them when they need it.
You may think that, as they get older, it is easier to get this balance just right, but that isn’t always the case. Your adult child could need just as much help as a younger child would when they are facing hard times. Here are some ways that you can help them and make life easier for both of you.
Ask For Help
When your adult child needs a lot of help, you may not be able to provide that help by yourself. Asking a third party to step in can be the best solution.
Take drug addiction, for example, which can be a genuinely devastating problem that wrecks lives and relationships. As someone who is untrained in such matters, you might not be able to do much to help. Contact a professional, however, and so you can get all the additional support you need to ensure your adult child is recovering and becoming healthier and happier again.
Although it may be hard for both of you, admitting there is a problem and reaching out to professionals who can make a difference is so important. Once this difficult period is over, you can build your relationship up and make it even stronger than it was before.
Even when your child is an adult, perhaps with children of their own, they should be able to understand and follow the rules that you set out in your own home. No matter how old they are, you should expect these rules to be followed, especially if your adult child is still living at home.
Although you don’t have to give reasons for the rules you are setting in place, remember that you are talking to an adult, even if you do still think of them as a child at times. Explaining your rules can be a good idea and help them to actually follow them.
For troubled adults, these rules can be a great way of finding some security and structure, so they are even more important.
An adult child who is facing troubling times may well require money to help them through. It is your choice as to whether you give that money or not, assuming you have it in the first place, but if you do it is vital that you have a proper contract and set out terms for the loan.
An adult child will need to understand that you are not simply giving money away; you will want it paid back, and you might even want interest.
This may not feel as though you are helping your child, but by not giving in too easily and setting out terms, you are making them more responsible for the future. Hopefully, once they are set straight again, they will have learned another valuable lesson.
Krystle Cook – the creator of Home Jobs by MOM – put her psychology degree on a shelf and dived into a pile of diapers and dishes instead. She is a wife and mother to two rambunctious boys, sweating it out in her Texas hometown. She loves cooking, DIY home projects, and family fun activities.