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Sex is supposed to make you feel good and powerful. But when you don’t feel confident in your own body, it becomes highly uncomfortable and triggering. It is hard to feel and share pleasure with your partner when your head is full of doubts about your flaws and drawbacks.
Body dysmorphia is a challenging mental illness that affects your day-to-day life and your intimate encounters. And although becoming comfortable with yourself while fighting body dysmorphia can take time, it can be a highly fulfilling and intimate process.
Remember that sex is supposed to build your confidence and discover new territories, no matter if you’re battling mental health or personal issues.
There are many things to try on your way to feeling strong and self-confident in bed. Here are methods for overcoming body dysmorphia in your bedroom.
What Is Body Dysmorphia?
Before you go on Instagram and follow all body-positive activists, you need to know what body dysmorphia is. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, body dysmorphic disorder is a mental condition that continually causes people to obsess over flaws in their appearance.
The flaws don’t have to exist objectively, leading to a lack of understanding from the general public. Mental health issues are often hard to explain to people who don’t suffer from them – especially when those issues correlate to body image.
BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) can affect anyone, no matter the age or gender. You can have BDD if you:
always compare your appearance with other people’s
are preoccupied with a specific area of your body
avoid mirrors and crowded places from fear of being judged and objectified
Studies say that 7% of the population falls victim to this illness, but there are many ways to fight it.
Get To Know Your Body
If your body is something that makes you feel uncomfortable and unsure, tame it and claim it as your own. Sometimes all you need a little one-on-one with your body.
Take a mirror and look at your most intimate places, or stand naked in front of it. Look at your body from different angles and positions to get accustomed to perceiving it as a sexual entity.
Play With It
When your mind is full of self-doubts, the chances are you find it hard to let go. Before next time you go intimate with somebody, try masturbating.
Take a moment for yourself, relax, and enjoy the pleasure – you deserve it. You will gain confidence in what you like and what is off the limits. If you don’t know where to start, try watching porn for inspiration.
Turn on sensual music to relax and get into the mood. If the first time doesn’t satisfy you, keep trying. Some people need much more stimulation.
If you are one of them, buying a sex toy, like a vibrating ring, clitoris vibrators, or a sex doll, can be just what you need. You can use it later with your partner to spice up the game.
Be Honest With Your Partner
Be honest with your partner about what you’re going through – honesty is vital. He won’t be able to cure your BDD, but together you can find ways to avoid triggers and cope with them.
Tell him about the disorder itself, but don’t hesitate to speak up if anything he does in bed makes you feel uneasy. Sex is the most intimate experience, so make sure he knows that body dysmorphia is a severe issue interfering with your well-being.
The honesty rule also applies to your bedroom. Don’t hesitate to say “stop” when you feel overwhelmed and “go on” when you feel better again. It will give you a sense of power and a chance for your partner to learn how to touch you to maximize the pleasure.For those with body dysmorphia, there are things you can try to take the reins on your sexual experience. Here are a few tips to get you started! Click To Tweet
Talk To a Specialist
When facing a mental health issue, your head is probably filled with questions about all the symptoms and how they affect your life. Or maybe you want to release all the frustration you have inside.
And while it is vital to acknowledge that you have nothing to be embarrassed about – talking to your family and friends can still be hard. After all, it is a very delicate topic.
For situations like that, it is best to visit a professional therapist or sexologist. They will offer you a safe space free of any judgment in which you can fully express yourself. Good therapy takes time but is certainly worth its price.
Although there are many types of body dysmorphia treatments, cognitive-behavioral therapy is the most common. The primary assumption of this form of therapy is the belief that our thoughts and emotions influence each other, creating behavior patterns that are not always good for our mental health.
BDD In Bed
The first step in overcoming your BDD is learning that your body holds much more value than just being pretty. It keeps you moving, thinking and can give you confidence and astonishing amounts of pleasure.
A key in fighting with body dysmorphia is therapy, knowing your triggers, and being honest with people who share intimacy with you. Some things may be complicated and hard to overcome, but your body is unique and beautiful.
Don’t hesitate to reach out to professionals and support groups in the process of reframing the way you see it.
If you could change one thing about your body what would it be?
Krystle Cook – the creator of Home Jobs by MOM – put her psychology degree on a shelf and dived into a pile of diapers and dishes instead. She is a wife and mother to two rambunctious boys, sweating it out in her Texas hometown. She loves cooking, DIY home projects, and family fun activities.