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Gathering up the courage to leave an abusive relationship can take years. While the initial fear of being homeless and abandoned may have kept you in the relationship for too long, this fear does not have to define your future. The abuse was not your fault.
As worrisome as it may be to rebuild your future, remember you are in charge of your destiny. You can take several empowering steps to make your future happy, secure, and promising.
Taking these steps can help you realize that you deserve a great life, and your future is what you make of it.
Cut Off Contact with Your Abuser
Even if you share children with your abuser, cut off all non-essential contact. The court should be aware that your former partner was abusive and caused you to flee the relationship.
This way, the judge mandates strict child visitation and keeps contact low.
Restricting contact should involve changing your phone number and setting up a new email address. It can even keep your address secret if you relocate to a new home.
If need be, you should also obtain a protection from abuse order from the family court. Many attorneys offer assistance in getting orders of protection for victims of domestic abuse.
Establishing these boundaries sends a clear message to your abuser that you are moving on with your life.
Get Counseling
You may deny it, but your psyche after leaving an abusive relationship more than likely will be shattered. Once you are free from your abuser, you may slide into a state of shock because this individual once defined every moment and every fragment of your existence.
The thought of living independently and determining who you are after your relationship may be overwhelming.
These feelings of not being in control are normal. You must seek counseling so that you can overcome your feelings of helplessness and work to reestablish an identity that is empowered and healthy.
Your counselor can help you realize that the abuse was not your fault and did nothing wrong.
Finding New-Found Confidence with a Life Coach
It is normal that you may lack the confidence to plan for your future.
The slanderous words of your abuser may be playing over and over in your head. However, you can overcome your lack of confidence and silence those words when you rely on a life coach.
A life coach can reaffirm each goal you meet in your new life. They can provide you with ideas for how to get a job, make new friends, and most importantly, how to identify and stay away from potential abusers.
With a life coach, you can establish a happy and productive future you deserve.
Life after an abusive relationship can be bright and happy if you take the steps needed to rebuild your future. Taking these steps can help you create a life that is free from abuse and full of promise. Something everyone deserves!
Krystle Cook – the creator of Home Jobs by MOM – put her psychology degree on a shelf and dived into a pile of diapers and dishes instead. She is a wife and mother to two rambunctious boys, sweating it out in her Texas hometown. She loves cooking, DIY home projects, and family fun activities.
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“Every day is another chance to get stronger, to eat better, to live healthier, and to be the best version of you.”
Thank you for bringing attention to this cause… and I so admire your courage
My mom keeps finding herself in abusive relationships. The summer between 5th & 6th grade it was her husband. His brother had to be the go-between. As an adult, my first husband and I had to take her to the hospital (or pick her up) after getting stitches. I don’t know if she ever got counseling or a life coach.
This is a hard subject to write about, especially if you’ve been the subject of abuse. Even though I think our society has come a long way, there are still people trapped in these tragic situations. At least there are resources to help them, if they reach out. Perhaps one may happen upon this post – it may make the world of difference to them …
I agree with the previous comment. It is a good subject to write about. In fact, I am writing about how I am trying to rebuild my life after being addicted to drugs on my blog http://rebuildingat30.blogspot.com. It is really hard. I got rid of all of my friends like I was told in rehab. But now it is three years after I got clean and I don’t have a friend in the world. That is why I am writing my blog, cause the only people I have in the world to talk to are on the web and even online I have not met anyone.
Hi! I’m sure sharing your experience will help many. I admire you for sharing your hard times.